“This is an accident waiting to happen,” one of my friends told me, as I was on my way to Madonna’s Hard Candy Fitness, which opened its doors in Toronto recently.
I had told her I was on my way to take an exercise class in … stiletto heels.
“Have your phone on in case I break my ankle and end up in emergency,” I responded.
In my gym bag, along with water, I had packed a pair of stiletto heels. I was indeed attending a class called Strength in Heels. The description for this class — one of the many unique classes at this gym’s 42,000-square-foot facility — goes like this: “Take your lower body workout to new heights with this unique conditioning and performance-based class that builds strength and teaches you how to walk and dance with grace, style and attitude, preparing you to strut your stuff on the world’s stage.”
Walk into Madonna’s Hard Candy Fitness, the first in Canada and the largest of all her fitness clubs (there are ones in Rome, Sydney, Mexico City, Moscow and Berlin, among others), and it’s like no gym you have ever seen. There are red chairs in the waiting area, and huge photos of Madonna decorate every wall. Even in employees’ offices, the walls feature full photographs of Madonna, pursing her lips and posing as only Madonna can (including photos of her in chains). Before my Strength in Heels class starts, I watch the Addicted to Sweat class, the most popular of them all. This class included both men and women, from 20-year-olds to 60-plus-year-olds, looking like they were having the time of their lives, learning dance moves based on Madonna’s own training regime from choreography performed in her videos and tours. All the dance trainers have been trained by Madonna’s “team,” which is why the instructor actually looks and dances like he could, or should, be a backup dancer for the pop icon.
There was techno music blasting inside the gym during my visit, even in the steam rooms. There is also an Electric Yoga class, a “non-traditional Power Yoga–based session that is done to the loud and heavy beats of electronica.” Unlike almost every gym, there are no beginner, intermediate or advanced classes.
“We like to call them hard, harder and hardest,” says Elie. I loved the teacher immediately, whose funky look and demeanour could make for a Benetton ad.
We start warming up by doing squats whilst holding a long and heavy weight pole. After 15 minutes, all of us plop down on the floor to change into our heels. Then, the instructor makes us follow her, and we go back and forth, from one end of the studio to the other, with one foot crossing over the other, like we’re models. It’s not as hard as I thought.
After about 20 minutes, surprisingly, my feet don’t hurt, but I feel my quads and hips working hard. At the end, everyone claps and makes you feel like you are a true pop icon. In the New Year, Hard Candy, too, will have Canada’s first yoga wall where you strap yourself to the wall and do yoga poses, while hanging. I just hope they don’t add “wearing heels” to that.
Post City Magazines’ columnist Rebecca Eckler is the author of Knocked Up, Wiped!, and her latest books, How to Raise a Boyfriend and The Lucky Sperm Club.
