As the song says “love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage.” With spring now sprung and wedding season in full swing, couples start to move in together. The love and marriage part may work, but what do you do when the design styles go together like a ballet and a sports bar?
Both people have an emotional relationship with the items that they bring to the matrimonial home. If one of you is moving into the space that used to belong to the other, then start with a clean slate. Think of it as “spring cleaning,” if you will, so you can create your new space together.
Marriage is really all about compromise, so start with a list of things that each person puts on their “must-have” list. If it is on the must-have list, then find a compromise. Perhaps that revolting chair can be recovered to suit both of you, or, the other option is to earmark some funds to get a new comfortable chair of his liking. Perhaps the antique dresser can be used for her belongings as an accent piece in the bedroom, and he won’t have to deal with it. Whatever the choice, remember that the piece makes the other person happy.
It is also perfectly acceptable to create an eclectic room that can be perfectly beautiful. The only real rule here is to try to keep the pieces approximately two time periods apart. If you try to match the ’60s and the ’70s, one of the pieces ends up looking like a hand-me-down. The combination of a great ’50s coffee table with a very modern carpet will give the feeling of an impressive loftlike setting. You will both be thought of as the “cool hip” couple and purely by accident.
Scale of the furniture has a major part to play in creating a room, and this may be an area that requires compromise. Whether the space is far larger or far smaller, you both have to be realistic. Obviously if one of you lost 60 pounds, you wouldn’t wear the same clothes. The same is true for furnishings. Be prepared that some things will have to go and be replaced.
If your combined items end up being somewhat eclectic it can all be pulled together in the accessories. Wall colours, window coverings and accent cushions made of complimentary fabrics can give the space a completely unified look, regardless of the furnishings in the room. Both of you should choose the paint colour and fabrics so that everyone will feel comfortable in your new space.
Collections can be the one area where you may have to create “his space” and “her space.” Not everyone is going to respond to a stuffed animal collection or to a collection of “beer cans from around the world.” My initial thought is to let them go and start a collection of things you both respond to in your new life together. That, however, is not for me to judge. If one of you has to have your collection and the other person hates it, then creating a space for that is fine, perhaps just not in the living room for all the world to see.
As the late George Carlin would say, “There would be room for my stuff if it weren’t for her junk!” Keep it in perspective. Your junk will never kiss you good night or bring you hot tea, when you are sick, and I promise you, when you move to your second house and start to pack, you will be wondering how you managed to acquire all this new stuff/junk and you’ll wonder why you bought it in the first place!
Glen Peloso is a design expert on The Marilyn Denis Show and Restaurant Makeover. For further info: www.glenpelosointeriors.com.
