Our weekly recap of the week’s news nuggets in Toronto will bring you up to date and add some fuel to your small-talk tank heading into the weekend.

Beer giveth life

Beer is life, according to some rather wise individuals. And, apparently, there is no stronger advocate for that particular position than beer blogger Chris Schryer. According to a Toronto Star article, Schryer gave up solid food for Lent and beer is the only thing keeping him going — he even got a local reverend to bless a batch of the good stuff. It’s a beautiful tale of love and understanding.

Don Cherry is mad. Very mad.

Hockey Night in Canada grand poobah Don Cherry has expressed his displeasure regarding the Toronto Maple Leafs signing a college kid to play hockey and taking an opportunity away from another player in the minor leagues. Sounds like communism to me. Don “Pinko” Cherry, that's what we’ll call him…

Back to the Beaches

Last week, we reported that the Ontario government pulled a $75,000 grant to support the whizbang Beaches Jazz Festival. Well, now it’s back. I’m not suggesting it was all our doing. Okay, I am. But please, no thanks necessary. Just enjoy yourselves—that’s thanks enough.

Leafs Nation goes haywire   

What is with Toronto sports fans sometimes? Where do you think you live, Philadelphia? Ahem. Members of the Leafs Nation hit a sour note this week after attacking James Reimer’s wife for her hubby’s subpar play in-between the pipes. Not cool, hockey folk. Not cool.

Ford is tough

If anyone thought Mayor Rob Ford will roll over and die a slow, painful death during this election, they’ve likely changed their tune after witnessing the first and very messy mayoral debate on March 26. The challengers steered clear of the scandals, and Ford counter-punched his way to a fairly decisive victory. A change of strategy is imminent. Free Sarah Thomson!

Dustin time

We’ve all been rooting for Dustin McGowan since a series of surgeries have kept him on the shelf—in the minors or pitching in relief for years. We’ve wanted him to heal up. His stick-to-it-iveness has been truly awe-inspiring. And, now, we’ve going to have our Dustin moment as the team has announced the pitcher has earned—I stress the word ‘earned’—a spot in the starting rotation. The Blue Jays kick off their season on March 31 in Tampa Bay.

Elvis shines

Former world champion figure skater Elvis Stojko is in town performing this week, but not on skates. Stojko is starring as Billy Flynn in a touring production of the musical Chicago, now on at the Princess of Wales Theatre. And, apparently, he’s pretty darn good. Who knew? Well, it’s not really that much of a stretch.

Shocking dog video

Making the rounds on social media is a very scary video featuring a Toronto dog owner and her pet Rottweiller. The dog's leash gets caught in an elevator and almost ends in tragedy. Luckily, the pooch survived the harrowing incident. But, it is truly frightening. The lesson here? Keep an eye on that darn leash people—always.

A purr-fect plan?

A local entrepreneur with an understanding of just how much people love cuddly kittens has hatched an ingenious plan to combine two of our favourite things: caffeine and cats. Reportedly, the Smitten Kitten Cafe will charge an hourly rate that would include beverages, pastry and some serious snuggle time with a friendly felines from local shelters.

Toronto madness

Although a number of the most high profile Greater Toronto Area players such as Andrew Wiggins, Kevin Pangos and Tyler Ennis have unceremoniously exited the NCAA March Madness tournament, two teams featuring local stars are still going strong heading into Sweet Sixteen action. Melvin Ejim will lead Iowa State versus Connecticut and Nik Stauskas and his Michigan Wolverines will tackle Tennessee. Both winnable games for the hometown kids, and both tonight.